Melt Down

I guess the heat is getting to my brain, at least that's the excuse I'm using today.  The meteorologists are throwing out grim forecasts of 'Feels Like Temps' of around 107 degrees for the afternoon.   As long as they aren't throwing meteors around, I'm happy.

I always wondered about the term 'meteorologist'; doing a quick expand my brain search on the 'net informed me that the word's origins mean 'lofty, high in the sky, lifted up'. (I'm sure it means a whole lot more than that, too, I'm just too lazy to read more, hey, it's hot, cut me some slack)  Back in my childhood, in that misty long ago time,  my father called the Meteorologist by a much less high falutin' term--Weatherman.  (Which, I should hasten to add, can also be a Weatherwoman or, more correctly, a Weatherperson.)  A lot of the times my father called the Weatherman a Stupid........well, let's just keep it G-rated. 

I don't know when the fancy title first started to be used around here.  Somehow the Weatherman became the Meteorologist which just sounds so, well, spooky and dangerous, doesn't it?   See, I thought the term meant they studied meteors and from some of the horror flicks I've seen, having Meteors floating around loose isn't a Good Thing. ( I'm sure Martha would agree.)  Someone had to keep those pesky meteors in line; thank goodness we have Meteorologists.  But then I come to find out it isn't the study of Unruly Masses of Rock hurtling haphazardly through the atmosphere.  Nope.

I hear you have to study long and hard to become a Meteorologist so I guess after all that book learnin' it would be rather anti-climactic to be known as Karen The Weatherman....(er, Woman)

'Weatherman' just sounds so pedestrian and plain, like when I fill in that blank space on questionnaires at doctor's offices:

Occupation:  Housewife.

"Oh, you do not work outside the home, then?" 

Well, yes, I do, quite a bit actually, since most of my garden is outside my home, but we won't go there.

 
I could put down 'Domestic Engineer' but lately I haven't been real domestic (I looked up Domestic, by the way, yes, I'm odd, I told you the heat is getting to me...and the pronunciation description is right on:

duh-mes-tik

Yup, that sums me up,  "Duh, this place is a mess and I'm ticked."

And if the Engineer part means you need a locomotive to push the dust bunnies around, then I truly do qualify.

I could list my other occupations: Gardener and Mom....which could translate to Landscape Horticulturist and Parental Unit of the Female Persuasion.  Nah, the first one sounds like I know what I'm doing in the garden and the second one should read, Retired Parental Unit (or just plain 'tired') since my children are now Adults and no longer in need of Parental-ing. 

I haven't gone to college for horticulture--thanks to trusty Wikipedia, here's their definition: (The word horticulture is modeled after agriculture and comes from the Latin hortus "garden" and cultūra "cultivation", from cultus, the perfect passive participle of the verb colō "I cultivate")



 I should put 'Professional Procrastinator' down in that empty 'Occupation' space, because right now I should be Domestically Engineering in the house because it's too hot to Horticulturally Landscape in the yard instead of Googling every goofy word.

So I guess I could settle for the titile:  Garden Cultivator.  But then I sound like a tool.  (Ok, so I am a tool...never mind yet again.....according to the Urban Dictionary a Tool is: One who lacks the mental capacity to know he is being used.  A fool.  A cretin.

Cretin?  Oh, good grief, we'll be here all day if I have to define every word.  

Dad always had admiration for the Weatherman, though.   (Dad was Cantankerous: Adjective: Bad-tempered, argumentative, and uncooperative. )    He said the Weatherman's forecast was always right.  

It will be dark at night and a bit brighter during the day.


Dad was a wonderful Prognosticator.


Look it up.